Friday, September 19, 2008

Ally, Makassia and Sonya

Put your biography here by Sunday midnight and then comment on someone else's biography before next Wednesday's class.
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17 comments:

a crazy couple said...

Biography


English 12, September 21, 2008
Narges Sonya Govahi, #47570

Makassia
Khadiatu Sessay who we know as Makassia was born in 1986, between two civil wars, in Monrovia, Liberia. “I am half Guinean and half Liberian,” said with slow and sad voice, “but I know myself as Guinean because my father was Guinean.” Her father’s hometown was Siguri near to Tinkisso River, and her mother’s Lofa County, Liberia.
` Still, Monrovia, the birthplace of Makassia, is a great capital city which lies down on the bank of many rivers and deltas that are draining to Atlantic Ocean. Khadiatu, though, doesn’t like this city even with humid hot weather that smells like ocean and palm trees. She likes friendly people of her father’s country. They moved to Guinea when she was just four months old. They went to live in Siguri. She remembers, “I was just four years old and was playing in the bank of the river; my mother was washing our clothes in the water,” she paused, “then, someone from our village came and called us back to home.” Her eyes were shining. She tried to control herself, “my father died that day.” She still has warm memories about her father and loves him too deeply. When her father passed away, they moved again; this time, to Lofa County to live with grannies.
Makassia left behind the salty sea smell and the clean beautiful water of the Tinkisso River, where was the main job of its amiable people fishing and producing corn. Whit her siblings and mother, she lived in Lofa for almost seven years. The rich soil, hot weather, and rains make Lofa County an ideal place for farming and gardening. Khadiatu said with pleasure, “almost every main agricultural products can grow in Lofa,” then, she listed, “orange, wheat, beans, corn, vegetables, oh...everything.” In this great land, everything is green even the gorgeous snakes with their colourful skins that prevent her from going after grannies to farm because she afraid of them.
Makassia used to play dumping rope, baseball, and hides and seeks with childhood friends. Although, she believes, “I was grown up as a solitary child...that’s why I am so quiet.” Naturally, too much journey in her childhood didn’t let her to keep her childhood friends for long time. She forgot her father’ language in that time and learned her mother’s. They are both had been forgotten to her now. Right now, she can speak Mandinka and Mandingo, two different African languages, and English. She, also, is learning Arabic to learn how to read Koran.
Still there is no end to her journeys between two countries that she belonged. When she became eleven years old, they moved again to Guinea; this time many other cities: Macenta, Kissidougou, and at the end the capital city, Conakry. Then, she lived there for several years until came to Canada with her cousins who calls them brothers and sisters as their traditional way. She has an older brother and three other sisters of her own who are still living in Africa with her mother.
Makassia started her high school here in Canada, Caribou Hill Secondary School. The most influenced person in her life is her mother, and even she thinks has no accomplishments yet, but I think she gained many deep experiences about life and people in her long journeys during twenty years.

September 21, 2008 at 4:21 PM
Brad said...

Sonya: The rich and sensory detail you've given helps make your biography of Makassia successful. It is quite the story!

September 21, 2008 at 8:53 PM
ally said...

Sonya’s Biography


Sonya was born in a hot August at Tehran, the capital city of Iran. However she stayed there for only 30 days, because during these days her parents were visiting Sonya’s grandmother who lived in Tehran. After that summer, Baby Sonya and her parents went back to their hometown, Abadan. “In Iranian language, ‘Abadan’ means a great place to live,” Sonya explained proudly. Because of the memories about playing around with her friends in the beautiful mountains, trees and streamlets, Sonya’s childhood were almost full of joy. Parents were important to her as she grew up; especially her mother, who is a Christian, had the most important influence on Sonya. Sonya said, “Mom is my first teacher in my life; she taught me on everything when I was young.”
When she was 9 years old, the family moved to another place, Khark. Sonya continued her happy childhood in a small town where she almost knew everyone and everyone knew her. She lived with her family in Khark for three years. Growing up in a close-relationship family, Sonya felt safe and happy until she was 12 years old. The Iran-Iraq War’s breaking out stopped the sweet dream of her childhood. Sonya was forced to leave her beloved hometown again, by ship, to Bushehr, and then Shiraz. Staying for a short time (two or three months) in Shiraz, they left there and finally arrived Tehran.
The fate made Sonya go back to her birthplace again, just twelve years later, but the city was a totally strange place. No familiar things and friendly people, the sensitive girl Sonya felt depressed in the busy and polluted city. She couldn’t adapt herself to the new environment, and she was an unhappy girl for a long time until something happened and changed her life. At that time, she started to be brought to church once a while. Gradually, in the church, she found the direction of her heart; when she was fifteen years old, the real sunshine lightened Sonya’s spirit and world, and that was Jesus Christ.
From then on, she obtained the happiness again and worked hard in the school. Sonya went to university and chose the theatre for her major at the year of twenty. Five years later, she graduated successfully from university, and then tried several different missionary jobs on radios. Meanwhile she also journeyed to many countries until she was thirty years old. Following the passion and interest to dramas, she decided to go back to school and continue her drama study; at the same time she still was working in a church office. She took two-year time to gain the master degree by her very hard work; then she found a job in an art high school as a teacher for drama causes. In the following four years she taught in the school and also had another job in an art gallery where she met her husband. Just five months after first meeting, Sonya married her husband, her far relative who never met her before but fascinated each other.
Sonya had been different roles such as an artist, an active Christian, a careful teacher and a social woman for a few years in the society of Iran until they immigrated to Canada in 2006. Now Sonya is studying English in PALC, and she must have a wonderful future as much as before by her outstanding wisdom and untiring effort.

September 21, 2008 at 9:08 PM
Makassia said...

Ally



In English, her name means to unite or form a connection or relation between. She was born at three o’ clock in the morning, in Fuxin, north China, on a traditional holiday named Dragon Boat Day; the Dragon Boat Day is a lunar holiday that occurs on the fifth day of the the fifth month of the Chinese calendar. Ally lived in her hometown for thirty-one years and then left for Canada because her husband loves Canada’s climate. Her birthplace had a sweet scent of yellow spring leaves during the spring season.


During her childhood years, Ally’s parents and her sister were very important to her. Her father had the most important influence on her at that time. He taught her some daily live skills and how to read in their language, Chinese. Ally was a shy and sensitive little girl who was smart in school, but one day, she ran away from school because her teacher was mean and unfair to her. Despite all that, her father still encouraged her to go back to school because her future would be brighter if she stayed in school. In fact, her computers studies in college were also her father’s idea. Ally was so good at jumping rope that she became the champion and her picture was on the school hallway board.

Ally studied computers for four years at Liaoning University, China because it was her favorite career. After getting her Bachelor’s Degree at the Liaoning University, The Computer Training Center hired Ally to teach children from seven to seventeen year old for two and a half years. Furthermore, she worked for China Construction Bank as computers maintainer for one and half year; meanwhile, she was managing her bookshop.



Ally’s major accomplishments were she got her Bachelor’s Degree at the Liaoning University after four years. After another four years of working and teaching, she decided to quit the Construction Bank job and focus on her own business. She and her husband opened a bookshop, which they called Holding Hands Book Shop because she and her husband always held hands while walking.


Among all her major achievements, the bookstore was very important to her because it was her own business that took a lot of effort to make it what she wanted it to be. She maintained her bookstore for six years, after which she moved to Canada with her husband and her beautiful, seven year-old daughter. Ally now studies English as a second language at the Pearson Adult Learning Centre in New Westminster, BC, Canada. Her plan is to study house care or psychology after her graduation at the PALC. She presently lives with her family in New Westminster, BC, Canada.

September 21, 2008 at 10:07 PM
Makassia said...

Wow! Sonya, you‘re real biography writer. The biography is awesome. It’s just a couple typo mistakes. There’s dumping instead of jumping and Siguri instead of Siguiri. Other than that, the biography is fantastic!

September 21, 2008 at 10:38 PM
Makassia said...

Ally, your writing is wonderful. Your writing has just given me the idea of who Sonya really is. It is inspiring.

September 21, 2008 at 11:03 PM
Unknown said...

Hi sonya,
Good job! Your sensory details is awesome. It helped me understand Makassia's journey clearly. You inspired me to keep writing. You're
a story teller. Really. Im impressed!

September 22, 2008 at 12:19 AM
Unknown said...

Hi ally,
Because of your writing I have learned Sonya's life. Good writing skills.

September 22, 2008 at 12:31 AM
Unknown said...

hi makassia,
You have a fantastic writing skills my dear classmate! Awesome!

September 22, 2008 at 12:38 AM
ally said...

Hi Sonya, your writing let me see Makassia's childhood and experience like I was personally on the scene.
As what Brad said, the 'rich and sensory detail' gave readers a vivid image of the quiet and a little bit sentimental girl Makassia;for example, "Her eyes were shining. She tried to control herself..."
Besides, you are good at the variety of sentences. There are all kind of sentences in it and they are organized skillfully.
I learned a lot on writing skills from this biography.

September 22, 2008 at 10:21 PM
ally said...

Hi Makassia,

This biography surprised me in a good way because I saw another "me" by your lively and detailed description. Following the plentyful detail, I seemed to go back my hometown and open the door of my childhood's memories.Thank you!

And also, you got the clear topic in each paragraph according to the sequence of the time.
By the way,maybe because my expression was not clear, there were several mistakes on description of my life. However anyway, your writing is a great one that is worth reading, Makassia!

September 22, 2008 at 11:25 PM
a crazy couple said...

Sonya's biography

Thank you Ally for your hard work. I understand the different styles of different writers when I compared our three writings together. This is amazing experience. Just I think some detailes were important for me like: Kharg Island is in Persian Gulf, and our official language is Persian(Farsi). But in general, I like to read your writing about myself. It seemed to me I am looking at myself from outside. This is wonderful experience. Thank you that you made this happen.

September 23, 2008 at 7:57 PM
a crazy couple said...

Ally's biography

Makassia, you are very straight writer; Right goes to the centre of the article. This is very good, yet you need in your writing a little bite softness of the senses, language, and imagination. Don't afraid of fantasy; it'll make your writing more compassionately. Good luck and good job.

September 23, 2008 at 8:05 PM
Eve Yan said...

Hi, Sonya, Very vivid description of makassia's emotion when mentioning about her life experience.

September 23, 2008 at 10:34 PM
Ryan said...

Hello Sonya~. I interested in your biography which is about Makassia. you have lots of details! And also your expression is perfect! However , some sentences are little bit artificial. And if you want to make this biograpy clearly , you better divide to your paragraph to some paragraphs. And each paragraph has to be a same topic! good job!

September 24, 2008 at 12:58 AM
Brad said...

Makassia: I like what you are trying to do with your introduction, especially. The last sentence on the "yellow spring leaves" seems to be misplaced; perhaps put it earlier? Also, your currect word count is 449, so you do have space to add details if you wish. Many sensory details make the biography interesting. A very strong draft!

September 26, 2008 at 3:12 PM
Brad said...

Hi Ally: Richly detailed and sympathetic portrait of Sonya. Do you know the reason for Sonya's decision to come to Canada? It may be interesting to say. Work to say things more concisely as you are over word count at the moment (568) but can make space through revision I believe and still leave in most of the detail.

September 26, 2008 at 3:17 PM

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