Friday, September 28, 2012
Describing a Person (Based on "A Little While" by Edwidge Danticat)
Using what you have learned about good writing today, write a short character description of a person you know (do not identify them by name; if you need to use a name, make one up). Write about 100 to 150 words. Use some dialogue. Feel free to use a structure used by Danticat as your guide. Bring your copy, word processed, to class on October 3.
NOTE: Download a copy of the Grade 11 class annotations in document form.
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When Jim was a teen-ager, he shot an arrow into the air. He did that in town. His actions amused me when I first heard about his exploit; that is, until I heard that he had shot the arrow a bit less than straight up into the air and had had absolutely no idea where it would come down.
Not long after that Jim took up motorcycling and, being a bit of a daredevil, he rode fast down a local highway. The rock he hit was small but it sent him sideways down the shoulder and scared him badly. He’d often say, “I love being on a bike but not enough to die for the privilege!”
Jim was a good friend. He came by for a quick visit, often without much warning, simply by saying “Jim here. You guys around?” It was always a pleasure to see him because it was unplanned, and I would surely get the best and latest news from our large group of friends.
—168 Words
My partner at work is an English man. He emigrated from England for his third marriage. He always wears his jacket printed “London” logo and carries his laptop around him. He frequently talked with me about his life in London, his travel through Europe, and his current family. He misses his mother who has died when he was 19 years old. He still can remember her final wish that suggested him to return to his first wife, but he failed. He also has a son within his first marriage. When I asked him where his son is, he indifferently said, “Probably in London or somewhere; I have on idea.”
My partner is proud to be a British. He speaks with a strong English accent and loves to watch English films, but he doesn’t like to deal with the family members of his current wife. He often explains the reason as said, “I came to Canada just for Carol (his current wife).” Whenever he says this, I always remain silent.
Recently, he began to complain about the laziness of his new wife.
-181 Words
i agree with some of William zinsser's work. specially about writing things simple. when i first came to Canada i use to write long thinking that this will get me an A.until a teacher told me that short words can sometime have more meaning than long words.Another thing that i agree with the author is that be yourself and never write something just to impress your teacher. the thing that surprise me about William is his sense of humor. i read many author's book but none said "stupid like Abraham Licole whom i consider our greatest american writer".I feel like when William wrote he from his mind and that's why i'm glad to read his work.
An’s mom died when she was 8 years old. Her father treasured her very much, refused lots of young guys’ propose till she was 26 years old( other girls married around 17years at that time). A day, An’s father said “Mr. He will take good care of you.” She married and became a step mother of an 11 year old boy.
Mr. He had never argued with An in their marriage. He worked in farm, and she took care of four children in home. The step-son, Xiong, left home after he joined the CCP. Several years later, Xiong was put into jail for political reason. An walked alone for 20 miles to visited him and brought his favorite food. She begged the guard 2 hours “I am his mom, I must take care my son like every mother does.” Xiong ate the food with tears.
An lost her mind right after Mr. He died. The day, she told her daughter “Your father has prepared everything for me in heaven. He’s calling me.” An smiled and passed away one year after her husband died.
May is a sassy lady. When Fan teased her with jest, she would threaten to make Fan jump through a fire circle. Once, she clapped my back so hard that the sound drew all other classmates' eyes on us.
May is also fine and fragile. Instead of writing, May drew strokes, like depicting right-falling stroke longer, which always made her can't finish her test on time. I asked: "why on earth do you do that?" "It makes my writing more beautiful." she said it without looking up. When May started working, she complained her bad physical condition every time we met. I mocked her: "Just tell me where is fine?" and got a loud sound of crack as response.
When May knew I was leaving to Canada, she cried, sighed: "People do not cherish that has been here alongside. This is Human."
-142 Words
During my childhood, I was often frightened by the seriousness and unhappiness in my father’s eyes.
My father grew up in a remote village where children walked barefoot across the mountain to school, while my mother lived in urban area. They had very different opinions about education. My mother insisted that children had to attend private school, but it was a huge burden on my father’s shoulder. My father had a full time job. Moreover, he raised little birds for sale, and he voluntary took the shifts during Chinese lunar year to be paid more. Although every dollar earned went to family, the financial pressure was never gone. “ I am tired. I am really tired.” he used to say.
After I graduated from university, my father still studied hard to pass the tests for promotion. He said, “I don’t want someone to look down on my daughter due to my low position.”. My father is always like a candle, lighting up the whole family.
---165 words
At the age of 17 Jose started to work on a gym. He wanted to become a bodybuilder. He had worked a couple of hours in the gym in ex change to monthly payments. He usually said, “My parents can't afford a gym, but that's not a problem”.
After a decade between heavy dumbbells, specialized diets and weight training exercises, he not only became a professional bodybuilder but also got married. He refers to marriage as “My hardest work out”. He is tall and robust, with soft brown eyes in no need glasses.
There was not only a very lively expression in Jose' eyes, but also an impressible deep love and peace he transmits to everybody. I'm feel fortunate to have such an inspired example of perseverance in my family. - 132 words
I am happy to have my son even though it was an accident. We first met at Burnaby hospital when my doctor put him into my arms. He was an 8.5 pounds chubby boy. He did not like to utter a word until he was three, but now he can’t stop talking about his Yugioh Cards.
My son was a lazy boy. He had never reviewed his homework even the day before his test. He didn’t want to walk to school because he said; his little backpack is too heavy. Luckily, he meets a strict teacher name Ms. K. in this term. After snack time, he doesn’t hesitate to turn off TV and does his homework immediately because he is afraid his teacher might kick him out. I am thankful for Ms. K.
My son is my good helper. When we go shopping, he pushes the buggy, selects vegetables and carries the grocery for me. Moreover, he cooks pasta when I become a lazy mother someday. I am glad to have him. He fulfills my life. ~176 words~
My auntie, Li, is disability. She was born in 1962 which was an epidemic of poliovirus. She usually walked with her two canes strenuously, but with a big smile. Day by day, her legs become weaker and weaker, so she needs a wheelchair now.
She is warmhearted. She likes to grow vegetables in her small yard, and shares with her neighbors. People in the village are familiar with her back with special motorcycle. She usually says: it is fortunate when you have a chance to help others. In my childhood, since my parents were busy with their works, she came to pick up me and my sister every day. Once her cousin has a financial crisis, she decided to look after his children without hesitancy. She helped him for years without any complains and rewards until she found that she got a breast cancer.
She is considerate and willing to help others even though she also needs others helps. She is estimable and a model which I can learn from.
170words
I shocked when I knew that my friend’s breast cancer come back at few days ago. She didn’t complain about it, and never let herself down. “Don’t worry, I can win again.” She comforted me.
Ten years ago, her husband divorced with her (the reason was that she had cancer). The diseases had lost the battle on her. She stood up and earned countless praises from her three children and the people around her. She worked hard as a normal person. One of her company’s workers urged her to take a rest. Her friends advised her to stop working in the “Cancer Society” as a volunteer. Most cancer patients often say that she is the super star, and the hope of life to them.
“God bless you,” I whimper out,” you are fifty-eight-years old now; you must take care of yourself.”
I often pray to God not to give an ordeal to my best friend again.---156 words
Renat Zhusup is a president of one big company,like Staplers.He is a short, robust man with thin, blond hair. His footsteps are sure and firm.I could often see his vain face with patronizing smile.
That position gives him these qualities such as confidence and prudence. During the conference with his managers Zhusup's bright, round eyes flick from one face to another. He likes to be in this situation because Renat can feel his superior skills from the others. Mr. Zhusup makes his speech with pauses. His voice becomes suddenly a powerful,low sound that echos through the meeting room. "You must find the enter from this state,"he says, "or you are not managers anymore!"
I liked to observe qualities of Renat's character when he spoke with people.
- 131 words
Mary is an amazing woman. She gives a positive energy, wherever she is and whatever she does. Her parents brought her to a strong sense of responsibility, family support and humanity. After the university graduation, Mary started to work in her father’s company. One year later, when her father got a serious disease, Mary took responsibility for the business. It was hard, but she successfully retained customers and a good reputation of the company.
As a friend, I can definitely count on Mary’s support. I don’t even need to ask her for help. She is always one step ahead. When Mary found out that I am moving, she just gave me her truck. She doesn't expect anything in return. This is her nature. Mary’s gifts for birthdays are also very special. Usually, they aren't real things, but “impressions”. I got the theater tickets and sightseeing tour from her. “Feelings fill our life, not things,” she says.
Now Mary has own family and the most ordinary life. However everyone, who knows her, can tell that she is an exceptional person.
I lost my friend fifteen years ago. He was handsome, charming and energetic guy. He graduated from college and joined a private firm. Everything was going smoothly in his life.
His parents decided to marry him and they selected a nice girl and fixed the date of marriage. He wanted to spend lavishly on his marriage but his parents showed their inability to spend so much on his marriage. He felt dejected.
One evening, we were sitting together and he told me that he was leaving to his place of posting by train at night. After chatting for some time, I left the place. However, in the morning, I received a shocking news that he has committed a suicide. I could not believe my ears. He took a hasty decision and left us all forever. So many years have been passed, but his memories are still fresh in my mind.
150 words
Adney
Adney, a sixteen years old co-worker, became mature. He learned how to do his task and cooperate with others.
Three months ago, our management in Como-lake Chevron hired, Adney, a polite stocky robust student. It took us more than two months to train Adney follow safety and work procedures. We taught him how to use intercom system to communicate with staff, too.
One day, I was serving customers, and I was very busy that the intercom started beeping, ‘’Yea?’’ I asked. ‘’HEH Hello!’’ waving his hand from distance,‘’No, I don’t want anything! I am just practicing!’’ he exclaimed. I turned and saw a line of customers waiting, some giggling some impatient. The only thing I could say was ‘’he is new and getting training.’’
Now, not only Adney learned how to do his job properly, but also he is able to train others. 149 Words
Chef Shaker was the best chef in the city, Burdur. He was feeding hundreds of people in a day. When I was working with him, his sayings were, “Fast please” and “Are you sleepy?” to all worker.
He cut his hand. During teaching how to slice a tomato, the sharpness of knife touched his delicate hand. I was quiet. He wanted to ignore it that nothing happened, but the blood was gushing. Finally, he said, “Oh I cut my hand.” In addition, he told me, “Mistakes are arrows that show us the right direction, and everyone face these arrows even a thirty years experienced chef.”
He was fired. One day, he argued with boss, and he left the job at the busiest day. He came the other day, so boss said to him, “You are fired.” He left the job, but he did not care about it because he was the best Chef in the city. 156 Words
Mahi is my friend. I met her in our first day of class at college. She sat beside me. I had never seen her before, but her friendly character gave me comfort. Her curly brown hair looked different from most of the students. Her shiny eyes looked like stars on a clear summer night. Her oval, spotless golden brown face was brightened by her smile. She was slim and tall. Because she loved colour, her dress looked like flowers. She was elegant. Her beauty was not only her appearance, but also her kindness and sense of humour. She spent lots of time to support seniors and disabled people. Her love and powerful words helped me to stand in difficult times. When I was stressed on an exam, she was my comedian. She was gifted to imitate others. She lived to comfort others. Since that day she is my best friend. I appreciate that day.
154- Words
I have this friend Rose who is very dear to me, but sadly we live so far apart. Besides our laughter being contagious, we often find ourselves finishing each other’s sentences. She is a kind and loving person to all, yet Rose has a hard time socializing with others.
Most of the time she feels ostracized by others because of her likes. "Never judge a book by its cover". That's something she lives by. She's funny and quirky and that's what she wants people to accept.
Rose likes to express her true self through art; I often describe her as a thousand people in a single body. I remember her saying, “It’s hard wanting so many different things at once, but making things your own is what makes life interesting”. She’ll never change herself to fit in. She will never go above and beyond to impress. I wish people could see Rose the way I see her. – 160 words
Qi died at thirteen. At ten, the doctor found out that he had a first degree bone cancer. Our parents were complaining and crying, but he stared at the doctor because he didn’t know how to react. (Deep inside was bleeding). In our family, he was the smartest kid (an A+ student) in the academic subject, so when his teachers and classmates knew that he had that unfortunate disease, they were shocked and collected some money for his treatment. Our life at that time was poor and our parents couldn’t afford a better treatment for him. He was strong. Even though he was in great pain, he didn't cry in front of our parents. Knowing they would have done anything to make it stop. As I am his little sister, I am so proud to say that I had an awesome brother. When he was about to die, he told my parents to take good care of his little sister for him. “For your glory, I am safe. Brother.”—170words
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