Tuesday, May 26, 2009

A "Mini" Story

Using one of the sentences written in class as your first sentence, write a "mini" story (no more than 200 words at most). Use what you've learned about stories (plot, conflict, theme etc.) to make your story better. We'll share in class on Friday (and, yes, I will be there!).
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11 comments:

Brad said...

A Father's Return

When Mary spied the present in his bag, she cried out, “Dad, what have you brought home for me?”

“Nothing!” he replied, though she thought she saw a slight smile on his lips as he said it.

“Nothing? How could you go away on business to Hong Kong and not bring me anything?”

“Oh, I was very busy you know. Meetings every day. The usual,” her father replied but, this time, he winked as he said it.

The sunlight filtered through the curtains on a beautiful spring day in Vancouver. Mary settled onto the family’s soft and inviting sofa and placed her hands together, folded, in her lap. She waited for her mother and father to have their “return from trip” chat.

It was boring, but necessary. Somehow adults had to take a certain length of time to reacquaint themselves. For Mary’s parents, it was cups of tea in the living room and formality.

“So,” Mary interrupted, “Dad, what do you have in your bag today?”

“Ah,” he responded, “I’d completely forgotten!” Mary knew that wasn’t true, but it was part of the usual ritual, so she nodded and smiled.

“Here it is!” He pulled out a small box. Mary eagerly opened it to find her present, a shiny new Ipod.

May 27, 2009 at 9:07 AM
Rita said...

First Time in Church

Hesitated, he opened the door and walked into a big room. It was decorated with all kinds of lovely paints on the wall; at least fifty children like his age were sitting on the stairs and singing. He was surprised by them in this early morning on Sunday.
He embarrassed that he couldn’t find a seat, and just stood close to the door and looked around. A lady sat in behind waved to him and showed him a seat right beside her.
He went up to the seat, sat down and started to hear the singing. He loved the songs; this was what he expected. Mom and he talked about attending a choir long before, but they were always busy.
Practice lasted 45 minutes. When it finished, children went out with their teachers to Sunday school. He felt shy to ask until only one person left in the room. “It is first time for me, where do I suppose to go?” He finally pulled all his strength out and asked.
“What grade are you?”
“Grade Two.”
“Then you can go to Room 111, that’s for Grade Two.”
When he came to the right room, the students were doing crafts with the teachers. He soon recognized the “kind lady.” He went up and said hi, all the students around the table said hi to him.
“I really like here,” he thought, “Just like mom said, I’m a big boy. I can handle things myself.”

-247 words

May 27, 2009 at 4:40 PM
LINDA LIU said...

A False Alarm

The exhausted mother, weary and anxious, slumped on the coach. After a long-day work in the hospital, she was supposed to see her son, Jimmy, watching “Spider Man” in the living room. It was six o’clock. There was a deadly silence in the house. The school had closed long before, but, where was Jimmy?

Her hands were shaking from great worry, she checked the address-book trying to find a number of Jimmy’s friends. There was nothing! She couldn’t help thinking about those terrible scenes she saw on the TV: the missing child, the horrible accident, and….
“What should I do now?” She was wandering between kitchen and living room. It was too early to call the police, so she decided to go upstairs to get a coat then to go around the neighborhood. She wished she could meet him somewhere playing with other kids.

Her gait ceased as soon as she took a glance at Jimmy’s room. Sleeping on the bed peacefully, he looked like an angel. The afternoon sunshine spread the golden sheen on his face. The baseball hat and club were scattered right before his bed. She felt a sudden relief that she had to lean on the door otherwise she could have fallen on the floor. Staring at his face dearly, the mother slowly closed the door and walked down stairs.

“Dinner will be ready soon,” she murmured pleasantly.

--- 254 words, second draft

May 27, 2009 at 5:14 PM
Maryann said...

A moment of Panic

When Amy found the passports in her luggage’s pocket, she leapt for joy. Amy, with her twenty months old twin, has been losing things often these days.

It’s their first vacation since the boys were born. Amy and her husband have been longed for this trip for months. She had thought that it’s a bit early for the boys to remember anything of this vacation; nonetheless, Amy wanted take advantage of free ride for the boys— since they aren’t 2 years old yet.

Amy hardly could sleep last night; preparing kid’s snacks and packing. After finishing all the chores, she laid her passport and the boys’ on the kitchen table so that she won’t forget them in the morning.

There was a long line up in the airport though they arrived early. As they were nearing the check in counter, her husband asked her to prepare the passports as he pulled out his. All of sudden, she remembered nothing about the passports—her mind became a total blank. Amy was in an incredible panic as she was searching all the possible pockets. Soon after, her fingers touched the passports in the bottom of luggage’s pocket. Thank God! (198 words)

May 28, 2009 at 9:07 AM
Qin said...

Playing Cards
In the living room, Terry and I played card after our dinner. In the first game, I had wonderful cards, so I beat Terry. However, our game ended in displeasure. Terry flung his cards on the ground and slammed his bedroom door.

Crying, the little boy felt more grieved for his sad loss. To soothe him, I came into his bedroom. I didn’t turn on the lamp but, through the outside moonlight, I saw that Terry lay on his bed and used a blanket to cover his head. I carefully asked, “Why are you crying?”

Terry pitifully said, “I never have losses, and my grand mother and my parents always let me win.” It was heartrending; at the same time, I felt a little guilty. I wiped away his tears and said, “We can continue to play; you must win.”

Terry said loudly, “I hate playing cards, and I will throw away the cards.” After twenty minutes, he wept himself into a state of exhaustion and went out of his room. He sat beside me and patted my arm. I asked, “What do you want to play?”
Terry answered firmly, “Cards!”
“Why?” I designedly asked.
Terry widened his eyes and said, “I want to win.”

After Terry won several games, a mirthful smile appeared on his face. Whether he cried or laughed in playing cards, Terry was lovely.

230 words

May 28, 2009 at 9:23 AM
taruna said...

“Help Help “were the first word out of my mouth the monument I saw the knife in the robbers hand. It was the usually weekday morning when I was going to Downtown to work. I was waiting by the sky train station round about “seven am “in the morning. Suddenly a tall man with a mask on his face came running towards me; I didn’t have any chance to run away from him. Nevertheless there were no security graders or people around that could help me from this robber. The robber came and holds my neck with a long Dagger. I was not show what he wanted from me. However, when he turned around with me in hostage he was calling the police” to Stop were ever they are.” The police were chasing him because he killed a police man and ran away from the jail that was close to the sky train. After a long time of holding me and negotiating with the police he released me. “Thank God” were the second words out of my mouth because the only gave me minor injuries and didn’t plan to push me on the track. Inaddition from that day on I have been taking lots of precosion, especially when I’m alone on the sky train station.
Word: 215

May 28, 2009 at 8:08 PM
molly said...

CHILD LABOUR


It was still dark, the trees ruffled in the breeze, making the air fresh and cool; the road narrow moody, fewer men among many women and children walking their way through.

Today like every day Ruka got up at five O’clock in the morning to fetch water from a nearby river. It was very difficult to balance the heavy jug on her head so, she calls for help from the older woman for proper adjustment.

“ Anti can you please give me a hand “ she said, “ off curse my daughter ” the older woman replied.

Helped Ruka adjust her cloth tie so that the water jug can balance properly. Happy to received the help, she walks herself home with the water jug on her head. Occasionally the water drop, her cloth gets wet but, its okay, at list she made it home—other wise, she would have been beaten badly.

Then she prepared breakfast and served it to the family. Cornmeal, with milk and sugar. Afterward, she walk the family five-year-old to school, she calls, “Joe is time for school” . He runs to her. His back pack firmly trapped behind him and a soccer ball on his left hand, Ruka holds his right hand and walk him to school.

Next, she helped prepare and serve the family lunch. Between mealtimes, she had to buy food in the market, run errands, tend the charcoal fire, sweep the yard, wash clothes, dishes, and clean the kitchen. Today Ruka’s master is very upset about something, she slapped her in anger.

She goes to the corner to cry and call’s for help from her ancestors and dead parent. She dries her tears and said, “I hope tomorrow my master fells better”. She walks to the kitchen to eat leftover food, at least they were better than corn meal she ate yesterday.

Ruka’s clothes are ragged and she had no shoes. Her owner have never allowed her to bathe in the water she brings to the family.

May 28, 2009 at 8:22 PM
suzie said...

Friends

Cherry flowers, purple and white, blossomed under the precious sunshine. The trees didn't shoot new leaves yet, and the temperature was still low, but the rain which dominated Vancouver's weather the whole winter was lessening, and the sun could be seen three or four times during a week.

"Spring is coming at last," said John as he looked down the sea from Burnaby mountain.

"Yes," answered Aly, John's university classmate 20 years ago in China. "But I still prefer Beijing's spring; it is lively even though it is short. Here every season is mild, and you hardly sense the season's change."

"Indeed," John replied. He turned toward Ali and asked, "Will your wife come this spring? I remember you told me about her decision of joining you here after this Chinese Spring Festival."

"She changes her mind. She won't come now because she is worry about finding a job here in this economical crisis." Aly shrugged, turned his head to see the cherry woods and said quietly. "The flowers are really thick this year."

"It is called a garden city, and it has so many natural sceneries. If you settle down in mind besides settling physically, then you may find the value of life here." John said, and took out his Canon 50D camera.

"You are right," smiled Aly. "Vancouver is considered again as one of the most suitable cities for living in the world this year. However, I am always confused why it has such a good title with the depressing raining winter every year."

"Be positive," said John, zooming his camera at some top branches of a big cherry tree setting off by the blue sky, "Life is not easy in everywhere."

May 29, 2009 at 11:04 AM
Najlaa said...

The mother's anxiety
Frightned, the boy was bleeding from his nose . He stood in the washroom , and his face was hollow and pale . His hands were shaking ; his clothes were soaked with blood. The blood was spattered onto the sink. Then, he stummered ,'' m-m-mom, ''his mom was in the kitchen preparing the dinner after her long shift of work .She was stupefied from the sight of the blood when she got into the washroom .


She pulled some tissues and covered his nose, but they got soaked with blood in a few seconds .Holding him to his room, she lay him on his bed .

Tearfully , she raised his head to stop the bleeding from his nose. Then ,an idea flashed into her head and she burst out ,''an ambulance,'' she dashed to the living room picking up and called for an ambulance.

A few minutes later , two paramedics arrived to her appartment ; she led them to her son's bedroom . One of the paramedic said to the boy ,''relax and don't move ,'' while the other rubbered the upper part of his nose . The treatment of the boy took 10 min. to stop the bleeding from his nose .


The two paramedic left satisfactorily the appartment. The mom hugged passionately her son and said, ''relax while I am going to prepare the dinner fo you .''

(222words)

May 29, 2009 at 11:24 AM
sherry said...

A Report Card


Behind the door, the young boy was very silent as he hid.

The clock was pointing the three and half, and he know usually his mother would come back home at that time; the school report card was shaken on his hand.

“Hello, my boy, where you are?” when the mother opened the door, she called, and no answer.

“Still in school?” she murmured.

After she hung on her out coat, she closed the door. Suddenly, she saw her son hid behind the door.

“My god, why you hid here?” the mother saw her son was very nervous, so she thought could be something wrong.

“What happen?” she asked.

“I, I, nothing happen.” The young boy whispered.

“What is on your hands?” the mother saw her son put his hands hack his body.

“A paper.” the boy mumbled.

“You don’t me to see?” the mother figured out it must some school paper.

“I got low mark.” The young boy scared and rose up his eyes to the mother.

“What did you do? Please tell me the truth.” The mother kept her voice down, but her

face looked angry.

“You didn’t do anything for your report card?” the mother stare at her son.

“No, No, I didn’t change anything.” The young boy flounced.

“Get out,” the mother said,” I only beat you if you lie.”

Then, the young boy released himself went out.


Words-232

May 29, 2009 at 12:03 PM
Zarmina said...

Troubled, my friend started crying. It was a very dark and rainy day when we got the results that my friend, Hawa, had cancer. Since she was very upset at that moment she left the Dr.’s office immediately. I stayed with the Dr. in order to ask if she would live. “Indeed”, the Dr. said to me, “If she keeps her morale up and supports treatments such as chemotherapy, and if God helps her, there is a chance that she will live.” Considering she was my best friend and I really loved her, I felt responsible for her and her son.

There was a pilgrimage to Lourdes, which was located in France 900 km from Paris. As you know, once a year millions of people come from different countries and religions around the world with their hopes, so I decided to go pray for her and bring Lourdes’s water. When I came back, I said to her, “If you believe in it, drink the water.” Then I kept going to the hospital to encourage her to remain strong. I also looked after her son during his mother’s absence.

Thus, I did everything I could to help her, and wanted her to be alive. A year after her hospitalization, we had the miracle we had hoped so much for. Contented, she was cured definitively and has been enjoying her life.

June 3, 2009 at 10:39 AM

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