Please post your essays here by Tuesday, December 4 at 6 p.m. Remember to read your fellow students' essays before coming to class on Wednesday.
Copy of the assignment
NEW: See Brad's essay writing processes at Writeboard.com: "A Unique Conversation." I have, so far, done two drafts. Visit the link to see my versions and changes. The password is the same as before.
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It is a “baffling question” why anyone would want to have children.
Perhaps it’s because becoming a parent introduces us to a uniquely human conversation, the one between a parent and a child. It gets loud sometimes and that’s ok. Volume increases, doors get closed a little too “firmly,” tempers flare.
“I hate you!” “I wish you weren’t my dad!”
Many parents have flinched at these words. Later on, with the benefit of the wisdom of time, children become people you’ve known, well, all of their life. Besides, get over it. Children don’t often really hate a parent. It’s because we’re close that it gets so personal.
For my son, his first “real” conversation was between him and his crocheted blue bunny. Three months old, he crowed to his bunny all the day long. New Yorkers, charmed by his song, turned and beamed at us all along the Avenue of the Americas. My son opened up the hearts of a busy city.
Children’s early conversations are often with themselves, but we parents are there, listening in, adding our own babbles and coos, moving on to pointing out things in the world.
“Look at the doggie!”
Little did I know that my daughter’s early affection for dogs might end up with me being an infatuated dog owner. My innocent vocabulary lesson became, “Can we get a puppy, Dad, please. I’ll take care of it!”
Part of the ongoing conversation with your children is how they learn the art of negotiation. The stakes get higher, too.
“Dad can I have the car on Tuesday?”
“Guess so, but you know your brother might need a ride, too? I replied.
Then comes the “silence.” Teenagers, uncomfortable in their own skins, barely muttering an acknowledgement as they skulk by.
“You okay?”
“Yeah,” they reply, then vanish. Soon you overhear their new conversation, the one with their friends, the cellphone essential and uniquely private. No more calls where I get to say, “He’s not here. I think he went over to . . .”
I miss that, sometimes, being in the middle of the conversation between my kids and their friends. But not having to jump up every five minutes in the vain hope the phone might be for you? Not at all.
—377 words; first draft
Note that my essay presented as the first comment is only my first draft. For further drafts, choose the link at the post. I have done a second draft as of Sunday morning.
Enjoy the snow (while it lasts) and stay safe!
Learn from Each Other
I have to admit, when the doctor brought me this small and soft life, my daughter, into my hands, I totally underestimated the effects she had on my life. I learn from her as much as I taught her, even though I always attempt to keep the image that I am a wiser teacher than her.
She is a good learner, far better than me. First time I found that out was this one time, when she was two year old, after I wash her hair in a washbasin of water, I saw her was washing her hair again an hour later, this time using the toilet. Her learning skill increases fast along with her growth. One day, when she heard me telling someone that I had to leave on the phone, but really I just wanted to end the conversation, she learned .then, next day, she asked for a note to skip physical education class although there was no reason for her to do so. I should emphasize her imitating ability instead of disregarding it.
I also often ignore her adventurous qualities, and so I was harshly punished by my mistake. She was curious of the ants’ life when she was five year old. I didn’t pay any attention to her questions about why the ants were always busy working because I am usually busy with cleaning just like the ants working nonstop to clean and build their homes
I probably answered her “please try to solve the problem by your self.”
Later, I found a pile of ants happily crawling freely in my kitchen around a piece of my freshly baked bread.
She just simply replied me with, “They worked for foods.”
Left I regretted at my wrong decision. Things would be simpler if I just gave her a straight answer. Children’s exploring spirits can not be ignored; otherwise, you will pay.
Their growing speed always goes beyond our understanding. I think I must have been an important guide to her style of dressing since I started to response this job when she worn diapers. She exceeds me soon; I had no idea about when it happens, but I finally realized that I am gradually becoming old-fashioned because of her “fascinating” comments.
“Can’t believe you choose this shirt to match these shoes, mum, it looks terrible.”
That’s her conclusion to my carefully dressed self that morning. I am often surprise at her growth; meanwhile, I know we will have different responsibilities
I think I’m teaching her my experience about life, but her reaction let me get to know myself better. Her defect reminds me that I’m not a perfect parent as same as I ‘m not a perfect daughter of my mother. (456 words)
Bed Time Lesson
I become a parent of two almost two and half years after my marriage. I, as a young mother, had a lot of fun and joy and also some frustration too. However, I used my little knowledge and experiences to teach them but it wasn’t easy sometimes you have to be so patient and tough.
I used my first experience, I sang (some Rhythmic word) for my children in their bed time as my parents did for us. You know child get used to it very easily and you have to do it all the time. Sometimes was a handy tool and help them to go to sleep faster but sometimes I was tired or I was with someone and I didn’t want murmuring those silly words,
However, this method of putting them to sleep continued. When they became older I used to read book. Sometimes I forced to read one book over and over and over! Or if I made a mistake or missed one line they yelled at me moaam? The children brain is like a magnet, they absorb everything. Particularly I remember they memorized almost a long poet about a “Rooster” and they both sang that poet all the time and if somebody made a mistake they sang a part of the poet. I think that moment was my joy.
I used this method also for checking them how they are doing. Are they in sleep or still awake? By pausing for second I was able to find out the situation if they were awake immediately their head leaped up the pillow and checking on me if I was sleep they were free to go and if I was still awake I had to continue. I also sometimes checked their intelligence by changing the meaning of a sentence.
Suddenly they screamed at me,” mooooom!”
I usually asked them the correct sentence and they both by talking the same time explained to me what the correct sentence was. Those moments are unforgettable for me and I remember all my life.
However, after they learned how to read and write I encouraged them to read their favorite books. I allocated some time for reading everyday. I usually bought book for them for any excuse. Besides that I sometimes asked them to write a summery of the story too. Not in a professional way just write what the story is about. I think it helped them a lot they don’t have any problem during their studies.
By the way, parenting is a very complicated task and you are not able to be perfect in all aspects because children are human and they experience and learn everything by own too. So, parents themselves are not perfect they make mistakes too. Ironically, parenting is a fun and painful and ceaseless work. (474 words)
In this house, my husband and me, we were sick of quiet. Every single day, it was silent enough to hear the clock was clicking. Our laugh could not cover the whole room. In our album, it always shows the same couple. How mechanical!
People say children are the production of love. A perfect family consists of mom, dad and children. It is pretty amazing. Even if grandparent were passed away, they left their children to demonstrate that they used to live in this world.
I came across a hot mom who was pushing a baby carrier on the street. If you were me, you would be so jealous just like me. She was a hot and young lady. Furthermore, the point is she is a cute baby’s mom. I would be proud of being a mom just like her. At that moment, I was planning on having a baby to satisfy myself.
I do not expect my children can look after my husband and me. For them, I spend energies, money and time. I wish they would live happily. They did not beg me to give them birth. If they were not pleased, I would feel guilty.
The first time I saw my kid was born. His tiny fingers were holding my fingers. His eyes could not even open. When baby was smiling, I felt like the world was belonged to me.
Why do I want a child? I do love kids. I want to hear “Mom” from them. Kids’ daddy is my best love. My baby was muttering. I recognized he called me” Ma”. Cannot using language to describe how excited I was.
Because of my children, the silent home is getting lively. Two people are becoming a middle-amount family.
My daughter sitting near the table was watching “Shrek”. Her brother came and checked out the TV beside her with mouth full
“That is hilarious.” My daughter was giggling
Suddenly, he spit his food on his sister’s head.
“Now, that is the hilarious thing.” Another son was laughing hardly.
Then, three kids were running around, fighting and yelling at.
After the film was over, youngest son suggested me: “Mom, you should marry a dragon, so I can have wings.”
From a princess to a servant, I began to know how to give instead of receiving. The amount of my new clothes was getting less. The room is stacked with toys, comics and video games.
Blood is thicker than water. My children have the same family name. In the memory, we have showed up already. One moment is enough.
430 words
A Parent Master Class
“What are you waiting for?” asked my best friend, a mother of a two-year old boy. “Kids fill our life with happiness. You should get one”.
“It is complicated” the only thing I replied. Besides, I could’ve not answered at all because my friend dived into introducing me to a “pink” world of parenting.
“Vika, do you remember the first time you saw Anton (her son)?” she asked staring at me the way that if the answer is negative I’ll be dead. I nodded.
“And remember he smiled at you right away! That was his first smile and he smiled at you. And you said that was the happiest moment of you life. Remember?”
I remembered. I wouldn’t be so dramatic about “the happiest moment of my life” (she likes to exaggerate), but to be honest I was happy, for a while though. Because her cute little baby along with outstanding smile also gave me a big poop on my skirt. I remember that too.
“Oh! I remember how happy I was when he said his first word. Maa-m-my” she imitated Anton’s voice.
I was visiting her house that day and I clearly remember this story. Anton was sitting in the chair beside me playing with rattle. Periodically he was throwing the rattle onto the table and then taking it back. The last try wasn’t successful enough and he dropped the rattle on the floor. Caught by surprise of the rattle falling he mumbled something indistinctive that later on was interpreted by my friend as his first word “mommy”. She was happier than ever while telling this story again and again to everyone. That wasn’t a surprise for me she changed the story a little bit by making Anton saying his first words clearly perfect.
For me he just mumbled, but what do I know? I am not a mother yet.
I noticed while she went on with drawing a perfect picture of parenthood that parents have a very short memory. For example my friend totally forgot how she was so tired that instead of putting a dirty diaper into the garbage can, where it belongs, she placed it into the fridge. Imaging her hubby’ surprise when he discovered poopy diaper in the fridge along with his dinner container.
Also she told me she was very tired and often was sleepy while breastfeeding. Once she, trying to feed crying baby and not to fall a sleep, attempted to put her breast into his bottom instead of his face and was very surprised he wasn’t willing to take it.
I didn’t know how to react when she told me these stories. One part of me wanted to express sympathy to her, another to laugh with all my might!
However the more I listen to her the more I realize that no matter how difficult or joyful kids are when the time comes you’ll manage to go through it accepting tough parts along with a pleasure and pride to be a parent.
500 words
The Money Tree
As a mom of none with no parental experience I can only imagine to be a parent. Some people say that kids bring joy to our life. There’s bit of work around them, but the reward is in watching them grow up – seeing the first step, hearing first word, first grade, graduation, marriage … (sniff) …Parenthood is beautiful … Lies. Children not only suck the life out of you, but also all of your money savings.
The outflow of you money starts from the beginning; soon after your child leaves the hospital. You have to buy his/her first car-seat, cradle, pram, dozens of clothes, diapers, toys, laundry detergents … the list is almost endless.
“ Children are like a bottomless pit,” you think to yourself, but you’ve decided to invest in them and keep the promise; at least for now.
You may see how reach you are ,when one day, after arriving from work, you consciously look around over your place. Yes, this looked-like a Chinese street during the rush hours place - is yours. These toy factories, restaurants, book stores, Michaells … the whole shopping mall is truly yours. But you know that the love of you children is pure and unconditional. Like when your child tells you :
“Mum, I love you. Can you buy me a horse?”
It may takes some time for your kids to understand that you’re not a money tree and don’t try to argue with them because they reply to you :
“But mum, You said that you work for some branch.”
If you think that the worst is over, you’re wrong. It’s just the beginning.
The school, health care, after school curriculums, new electronic toys and many must have things push you to triple your shifts, robber a bank, or buy a gun. There’s only one thought on your mind :
“They are lucky to be protected by the Human Rights.”
Although, you think, you’ve reached the bottom, when you started to think about the cartoon box as a new home, a sadden, unexplained changes get over your kids. They’re no longer ask you for a car or i-pod, or anything at all. You can even hardly notice them at home. That’s the sign they went on their own.
The new life, new beginning unfolds before your eyes. You feel like a phoenix rising from its ashes. However, at the same time, you feel some emptiness, you start questioning yourself :
“Have I done a good job ?”
And there’s the time, when your kids came to you with the warm hugs and sweet voices :
“We love you mum ! We love you grandma ! ”
No. The game is not over yet, but you’ll survive. As the same as your parents with you. (463)
An Interrogative Inquiry
I think we are never going to be ready to give the next step after you got married. It is a complicated decision to become a parent because the doubts start making holes in to your head. My family and friends used to ask me when you are going to have kids. Are you planning to have one soon? Moreover, I was getting tired to hear the same question over and over because it sounded they were pushing me to compete against to their soccer team. Finally, I got pregnant and amazing bundle of joy came for us.
It was Christmas, when my first baby was born, I named him Jesus in honour to my uncle who died at the age of twenty five, and was born on the same day. Moreover, his weight was almost four kilograms a fatty baby with bulky cheeks, I don’t even know how I carried him for nine months inside of my petite belly. By the time, he turn 9 months he started to crawling and grabbing every item that it was on his way. Suddenly, little Jesus exclaimed
“Mama, papa “
My husband was astonished, after he heard his first words. Consequently, he opened the bottle of tequila and shouted to the entire neighbourhood
“YEHA”
“That’s my son who just said papa “he replied.
On his first year, we hosted a huge party for him, we had a Spiderman piñata, lots of balloons and three milk cake. So, I questioned myself
“Why do we need to celebrate, if he does not even know what’s going now? “
Does he really care if we got him baby Gap outfit. I think sometimes parents we get to overwhelm with our kids, and we don’t think in how much money we are really able to afford. Why do we need to go over our budget to celebrate his first piñata if he does know half of the guests that came to celebrate his fiesta? Is he really enjoyed in the party? I think little Jesus knows more than we think because he just start crying as soon the music went off.
Time went by, and my son is a senior high school, he wants to go to university to practice law, but I can afford to pay off for his carrier. I should it thought the consequences of my joy, perhaps to save money in to a special college account, and not wasting to much in to a silly piñatas. I am working two jobs to be able to fulfill his dream, carefully he will appreciate one day our effort that we are doing for him, but my big hope will be that he can become who he wants to be.
Children can be interesting and fond, but we most think twice before we will decide to give up to tranquil nights.
( 479 words )
When I was an intern in the department of obstetrics and gynecology, I need to successfully and solely and safely deliver at least ten infants to pass the requirements under the supervision of the attending. Frankly,I didn't even identy the gender of the newborn then rush to watch the expression of the examiner.But that attitude completely changed while I was holding my own babies as the big moment approached.
"Are you gonna assist me with the operation?" Before my wife was sent to the OR, one of my best friends, who would perform the cesarean section,teased me.
I really hoped I could. But my mind was wandering and torturing by the coming soon truth: I will be a father. I tried to figure out how huge was that. Plus, according to the ultrasound I already knew I will have a twin babies.
"Why would I want to have children?" I asked myself at that moment.
Throughout the OR windows I could see doctors and nurses who were concentrating on their job. I wasn't planning to have babies before 30. I would rather focus on my career than changing the diapers. Suddenly a kind of negative mood invaded my whole body. Needless to say, I was a little scared of being a father.
The door of OR opened and came out the chief doctor, holding my twin babies.
"Congratulations! You have a baby boy and a baby girl! You lucky man!" He seemed more excited than I was and passed me the babies.
Then came the moment I would never,never forget. Two tiny person with blood and fluid on their face looked at me and met the world with their rolling eyes for the very first time. I barely said or did anything; I could't even breathe. After about 10 seconds, happy tears appeared on my face. I swear to God, at that moment all I felt was happiness and huge responsibility. And no one could realize that emotion unless you go through it.
Late that day and night I didn't sleep at all. I washed them, changed diapers every 10 to 15 minutes, fed them with prepared milk. I started the routine as a father .And it still goes on till now and forever.
As a parent no matter how old you are, the question "Why would you want to have children?" looks ridiculous and unreasonable to me.Once you gave birth to them, you just take your responsibility and make them to be the happist person in the world,which your parents have already done for you. That's the circle of life.
Around 450 words. I might not show up tomorrow due to some personal issues.
So sorry that I missed your class twice in a row, Brad. Don't mad at me.
To Margaret's partly opinion:
No offence, I disagree. Did you suck out your parent's life and all of their money? In most cases comparing to love between Human Beings, money is nothing no matter they are poor or rich. Love is about giving and receiving, not selfishness. Also, as a parent means to educate your children, not spoiling them; let them know the right and wrong, not money is everything; deal with the problem like in adolescence, not avoid responsibility.
Personal comment.
A Difficult Decision
It’s a really baffling thing for me to decide whether I have a child or not, and when I have
a child. Maybe this is because children will bring me some joy, frustration and ceaseless work
when raising them.
When I was twenty-six years old, I got married, but at that time, I did not want to have a
child because I was busy with studying and working, so I did not have any time to take care of a
child. However, about four years later, I had to consider having a child because I was thirty
years old. If someone have a child after thirty years old, the child may have some health
problems. Therefore, I decided to give up the sweet world of two persons in order to finish the
mission of carrying on the family name well, and I had to ask God to give me a son.
Fortunately, I got a very cute and handsome son. When he was born, he cried loudly just
like a tenor. During the first year after his birth, I photographed him every month because I
wanted to observe and record any changes when he grew and developed. I used to sing the songs
such as “Butterfly Lovers” in order to help him sleep because this is a nocturne. During the
night, I could not sleep because I had to feed him and change the diapers for him. It is really hard
for me because I had to work in the daytime. I felt really tired, but when he called me mom, my
fatigue vanished at once.
When he was four years old, he was interested in playing the piano because he used to
listen to the piano music which his cousin played. One day, he said, “Mom, may I have a piano?
I would like to play the piano.”
“It’s good for you, sweetie, but you should promise to play the piano everyday.” I
replied.
“Mom, do not worry about that. I will practice everyday.”
From then on, I bought a piano and brought him to the piano instructor once a week.
Moreover, when he played the piano, I sat beside him and guided him to play the piano, so I had
to give up my leisure time. However, when I was tired or unhappy, my son used to say, “Mom,
may I play some of your favourite music for you? You know music is a very good medicine.”
“Sure, please.”
When I listened to the music, I felt better than before, and I thought I did not waste time
on him.
Four years ago, we immigrated to Canada, so we have a chance to get a second child.
One day, my husband said, “Honey, I want a daughter.”
“Oh no, sorry, I am not young, so I do not have enough energy to have the second child.”
In a word, I have encountered various sour, sweet, bitter and spicy experiences since I
had my son, so the child has brought me not only some happiness but also some trouble.
Therefore, it is not easy to decide whether you have a child. In my point of view, depending
on my experiences, the best way is that one couple has two children.
A Difficult Decision
It’s a really baffling thing for me to decide whether I have a child or not, and when I have a child. Maybe this is because children will bring me some joy, frustration and ceaseless work when raising them.
When I was twenty-six years old, I got married, but at that time, I did not want to have a child because I was busy with studying and working, so I did not have any time to take care of a child. However, about four years later, I had to consider having a child because I was thirty years old. If someone have a child after thirty years old, the child may have some health problems. Therefore, I decided to give up the sweet world of two persons in order to finish the mission of carrying on the family name well, and I had to ask God to give me a son.
Fortunately, I got a very cute and handsome son. When he was born, he cried loudly just like a tenor. During the first year after his birth, I photographed him every month because I wanted to observe and record any changes when he grew and developed. I used to sing the songs such as “Butterfly Lovers” in order to help him sleep because this is a nocturne. During the night, I could not sleep because I had to feed him and change the diapers for him. It is really hard for me because I had to work in the daytime. I felt really tired, but when he called me mom, my fatigue vanished at once.
When he was four years old, he was interested in playing the piano because he used to listen to the piano music which his cousin played. One day, he said, “Mom, may I have a piano? I would like to play the piano.”
“It’s good for you, sweetie, but you should promise to play the piano everyday.” I replied.
“Mom, do not worry about that. I will practice everyday.”
From then on, I bought a piano and brought him to the piano instructor once a week. Moreover, when he played the piano, I sat beside him and guided him to play the piano, so I had to give up my leisure time. However, when I was tired or unhappy, my son used to say, “Mom, may I play some of your favourite music for you? You know music is a very good medicine.”
“Sure, please.”
When I listened to the music, I felt better than before, and I thought I did not waste time
on him.
Four years ago, we immigrated to Canada, so we have a chance to get a second child. One day, my husband said, “Honey, I want a daughter.”
“Oh no, sorry, I am not young, so I do not have enough energy to have the second child.”
In a word, I have encountered various sour, sweet, bitter and spicy experiences since I had my son, so the child has brought me not only some happiness but also some trouble. Therefore, it is not easy to decide whether you have a child. In my point of view, depending on my experiences, the best way is that one couple has two children.
An Interrogative Inquiry
I think we are never going to be ready to give the next step after you got married. It is a complicated decision to become a parent because the doubts start making holes in to your head. My family and friends used to ask me when you are going to have kids. Are you planning to have one soon? Moreover, I was getting tired to hear the same question over and over because it sounded they were pushing me to compete against to their soccer team. Finally, I got pregnant and amazing bundle of joy came for us.
It was Christmas, when my first baby was born, I named him Jesus in honour to my uncle who died at the age of twenty five, and was born on the same day. In addition, his weight was almost four kilograms a chubby baby with bulky cheeks, I don’t even know how I carried him for nine months inside of my petite belly. By the time, he turn 9 months he started to crawling and grabbing every item that it was on his way. Suddenly, little Jesus exclaimed
“Mama, papa “
My husband was astonished, after he heard his first words. Consequently, he opened the bottle of tequila and shouted to the entire neighbourhood
“YEHA”
“That’s my son who just said papa “he replied.
On his first year, we hosted a huge party for him, we had a Spiderman piñata, lots of balloons and three Mexican milk cake. So, I questioned myself
“Why do we need to celebrate, if he does not even know what’s going now? “
Does he really care if we got him a baby Gap outfit? I think sometimes parents we get to overwhelm with our kids, and we don’t think in how much money we are really able to afford. Why do we need to go over our budget to celebrate his first piñata if he does know half of the guests that were invited to celebrate his fiesta? Is he really having fun at his party? I think little Jesus knows more than we think because he just start crying as soon the music went off.
Time went by, and my son is a senior high school, he wants to go to university to practice law, but I can afford to pay off for his carrier. I should it thought the consequences of my joy, perhaps to save money in to a special college account, and not wasting to much in to a silly piñatas. My husband is working in two jobs to be able to fulfill his dream. Carefully, Jesus will appreciate one day our effort that we are doing for him. Sometimes, we still ask to ourselves if it was worth to give up our tranquil nights. I guess it is an inquiry that we never going to know the specific answer.
(481 words )
We are parents of the modern age. Things change fast and knowledge and invention are created everyday. The generation gap is going deeper and deeper. The difficulty of communicated with your boy or girl will be much complicated than ever before. They are a lot of bad things around them and affect them in the new modern world.
It is the media like TV, Video game, Internet, the parents mostly are working hard or social too much and give too less time on their kids, the kids are also been spoiled too much.
We have too many video game which related to violence and bloody. I saw TMNT
(Teenage mutant ninja turtle). It is a combination of fighting and violence. War games are the favour of young kids which involving a lot of weapon. You shoot people and drop bomb to create more bloody consequence. The TV always related to crime (CSI) and gambling (poker) and fighting (hockey). There is a fighting in the junior hockey game between two teams. I saw them fight with each other on TV. They learn from the media.
We are lived in the modern world with our kids. We both face the challenge of the new technology. We learn to use computer, playing all the new video game and working hard to make our living. I used to teach my son to use computer since he was five but I found he play better computer game than I am. If I have some problems of new technology on upgrade some software, The best thing for me is to ask my son and he is only 14. He is playing computer game whole day. Computer became a baby sister. Did I spend as much time as a father should be? “ Are we going out to eat?” “No, bring me some Mcdonald.”
How much toys or video game my children have? They have Game Cube, Gameboy, PS2, computers with a lot of games. They can play game on my 50” TV. His Mom take him to school every morning. We did not ask him to do anything except cleaning his own room. Even he did not do much to help the family but he is so busy. He is occupied by his chatting online friends and internet game online. Did I spoil my kid?
I said “ No game in the weekday”. “Ok, I got it”. I did not stay at home to watch my rules been followed.
I would recommend the modern parents to get more knowledge of computer and spend more time with your kids and don’t let you kids do what ever they want. Love and understand them are most important things. You can give good help and advice to them not to spoil them.
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